update 04/01/2012
The Kushka Ya Ya's Story - Soon to be a Minor Motion Picture !!!
Plot line
Late 1990’s- Turkemenstein after fall of communist russia – four boys are rescued from the fighting by allied forces in some ruins near the city of kushka, whereabouts of parents unknown. Traumatized by their war experience they show limited ability to assimilate another culture until they get hold of an american football and some musical instruments while hanging around the barracks in their telpek/cossack hats.
Poland 21st century – The bros are evacuated to a NATO airbase and wind up being raised in POLAND before emigrating to the USA. Continuing to hone their uncanny musical disabilities and soccer/football kicking skills they obsess over their Asian roots & find they are really armenian and their father (Warren Tashjian) is living in siberia as a reindeer herdsman (seen on WILD RUSSIA). Evan, one of the bros eventually returns to Siberia. The remaining three bros remain in Poland performing in the family punk music act "The Screaming Kushka Ya Yas".
Wode Island 2012- The remaining three Kushka bros emigrate to America, winding up in Central Falls where they are employed by Peter Volante in his cleaning services company . After several misadventures cooking cabbage with the Psobrieski girls (Wanda, Sharyn, Valrykie); the boys rediscover their musical roots after wandering into a back room of Volantes office that contains recording equipment. When boys pick up some instruments and start jamming in their telepek hats
Volante thinks he's discover a hit group and begins recording demos of the boys singing in Polish, and books them at local cover clubs (san hats) with limited success as the “Kushka Ya yas.”
December 2014- Gillette Stadium -The kushka bros big break comes in a rematch between the Giants and Patriots. The bros show up at Gillette stadium in their van full of instruments /cleaning equipment to help clear the stands from the previous nites snowstorm. Outfitted in their telepek hats they draw media attention . As a result of their antics, they are invited to hang around during the game that's being nationally broadcast. When the halftime act is detained at Wode Island's TFG (The fucking green) airport, the kushka bros volunteer to provide the entertainment. An impressed, coach Belechik (he’s part Ukranian you know) invites them to hang around on the patriots bench for the second half. They start throwing/kicking around a football on the sidelines (stooges style that is captured on national tv). It’s starts snowing again in the 4th quarter and the patriots are holding on to a slim lead when the patriots place kicker is injured trying to tackle a Giant running back after a kickoff. In the waning seconds of the game, in desperation, the Patriots call on the Kushka’s to try a game ending field goal that will put the patriots in the playoffs. You know the end: Next days Newspaper headlines read :
“Fighting kushka ya ya’s save day for Patriots.”
Closing scene- the Kushka’s appear on a late nite talk show and perform in their telpek hats.
